it was not until the mid-90s with hawaii that we talked about it in a serious way, and my friend, you know him well, evan wilson, was working on this, but when evan started working on this in the 1990s, people were like, gay marriage? that was in part because we were simply fighting to make it legal to have intimate relationships. i was a felon in the state of texas as i lived there. we can joke about that. i think, okay, not going to enforce the law. how will they catch me? for friends of mine going into law enforcement or education or the military or things like that, the sodomy laws were huge. >> host: it's been a huge change. >> guest: we were not talking about marriage, but it takes time, i think, to make this part of the culture, and not just in terms of the legal incidence. in terms of parents and grandparents saying, so when are you going to make it official? that takes time to build, and i think that that's something worth building for same-sex couples. >> host: one of the i things i remember thinking about, and you can talk about it better than i can, obviously, is how the f